It’s Not A Competition

In Felecia Williams by Lola Magazine

Celebrate, Collaborate, and Cheer each other on!

Which “C” are you?

Business, home, friendship, relationships, even family. We find ourselves living the wrong “C” Life. Have you ever found yourself asking “Why not me”? Or saying, “They don’t deserve it more than me!”. Maybe you find yourself blaming someone else for why you have not achieved your next goal. Possibly even saying or doing little things to sabotage others in your life. Lying to others so much that you begin to believe it yourself? This is called Competing.

When working with others to achieve a goal, whether it’s yours or not. When adding value, even when you may not be the leader, but understand the value of following. Celebrating, even if it’s not your celebration. Cheering, simply because you are on the team but maybe not the captain. This is called Collaborating. 

We, as women, many times strive to be the best at all costs. Being the best, doing it better (sometimes to our detriment), and many times ending up being a hindrance of others. Telling yourself you are a team player but only lending a hand when receiving something in return. Feeling less than, overwhelmed, unappreciated, discouraged, and disappointed many times will cause you to confuse your “C”.

Now, please know, that some of us simply don’t care. Some of us refuse to share and dare anyone to surpass us in this game called life. These women clearly will not bother to invite you to the table but in addition, plan to pull the chair right from under you if you dare to have a seat.

Let me be the first to say that my “C”’s have caused confusion many times in my life. Allowing others VIP entrance into my life whilst moving my boundary lines and pulling a seat next to me at the table. As I struggle to remain seated daily and still to be called that ever so disrespectful word. I am sure that you know the one. The one that rolls off of our tongues – “B***h”. Ladies, we yell about women’s rights, equality, and continually fight to be seen for our strengths not our bodies. But, that word. That word is used to defame and disrespect others, and all women in fact, any time we go on the attack. No, it is not a victory – to verbally dress down a woman with a word that quickly catapults us backwards. In a movement that we struggle to keep moving forward.

Yes, there is a boy’s club, but you no longer need a membership to get ahead! To all ladies, create and join the women’s lounge – where membership has its privileges. The lounge makes everyone feel included. There are just two rules of an entrance, however. Know this:

Rule #1: The power is in the pack.

Rule #2: The pack is only as strong as the women who are seated at the table.

Now ladies, using those two rules, let’s stop talking about networking and start building relationships. The concept of networking without including relationships is short term and short lived. To be successful, we must be willing to be in it for the long haul. Yes, we want to meet people who can help us along the way, but stay with us along the journey. That is the true power of networking. Stop meeting, asking, and achieving without forging a travel partner for the journey. The more of us on the trip, the further we can go and the more who can be invited to continue the journey.

I challenge you reading this article to reach back and bring someone along. Not because of what they can do for you, but because of what they could do for the next person invited on the trip. I am challenging you to apologize to someone that you may have confused your “C”’s with and competed with instead of collaborating with for success for both. My smart, hardworking, team playing ladies, I invite you to sit with me at the table and live your best “C” life.