Written by Felecia Williams
Owner of My Spa My Way
Ah, the holidays – a time of cheer, goodwill, and for some, awkward family gatherings featuring that one special guest star: your ex-partner. If you find yourself in this less-than-ideal situation, fear not! We’ve got your back with our hilarious Ex-mas Survival Guide to help you navigate the festive minefield of ex-partner encounters without sacrificing your sanity or eggnog.
‘Tis the Season for Humor: Laughter truly is the best gift. Embrace the absurdity of the situation and sprinkle your encounters with humor. Share funny holiday anecdotes, swap embarrassing memories, and watch as the ice thaws over a cup of cocoa. Who knew a shared laugh could be such a bonding experience?
Many ask me the same question, how are you and your ex-husband such good friends? This holiday season may be a little different. Yes, we are roommates, yes we still spend important moments of our life together and yes we date other people; well I date and he has met my new love interest.
This holiday season may test our friendship/divorceship. I had surgery and he was required to take care of me. Well, let me say that differently. He stepped up and stepped in to make sure not only was my surgery a success, but my two-month recovery process was as well. This required washing my wounds, changing my bandages, giving me time-sensitive medication throughout the day, feeding me, and keeping me alive for the next two months while giving daily updates to my mother and my best friend. He even scheduled visiting hours for everyone. He said; “Not on my watch.”
Now if anyone knows anything about me you know I love a sense of style, I take pride in taking care of my hair, skin, and nails and feeling beautiful. Now if anyone knows anything about my ex-partner he is a highly educated and creative nerd. So you can imagine what I look like when he finally let me leave the house. I looked like a well-styled homeless person. The only thing that matched were my eyeballs.
You probably are asking how we achieve this type of relationship and why we have it since we have no children and would not need to engage in such a friendship. First, we went to counseling not to save our marriage but to learn how to become a successfully functioning divorced couple. Secondly, we were honest about why we had even gotten married. The reasons could not have been more different. He still disagrees with me as to why I feel we are married, but I have learned after nine years of marriage and eight years of being divorced, he still struggles with being WRONG.
Now, do not email or call me about my tips and tricks to help you through the holidays with your ex. No, I don’t have a Ph.D., in counseling or a mental health degree. I just live every day of my life and can tell you a few things that may help you this holiday season.
Yes, these may seem corny or lame but focusing on something silly and funny prevents you from ever having time to remember one of the most difficult journeys of your life (DIVORCE).
Remember, the holidays are meant to be enjoyed, even with your ex in the picture. So, take a deep breath, summon your sense of humor, and let the merriment of the season work its magic. With a pinch of laughter and a dash of creativity, surviving the holidays with your ex-partner can be a memorable and fun adventure that leaves you both with new tales to tell in the year to come. Cheers to a hilariously festive Ex-mas season!
Navigating the Holidays with Your Ex
(without losing your sanity or your eggnog)
DO NOT DISCUSS THE MARRIAGE OR THE DIVORCE!
You both know who you used to be and why you are who you are now. No need to have some fake cum-by-ya which will end up in an agreement neither of you can win.
UGLY SWEATER CONTEST
Turn your awkward get-together into a fun competition by hosting an ugly sweater contest. Invite your ex to participate and see who can find the most hideous, over-the-top sweater. It’s a great icebreaker, and you’ll be too busy laughing to remember why you ever split in the first place.
THE MISTLETOE MISDIRECTION
Hang mistletoe everywhere, and if your ex happens to find themselves beneath it with you, give them an exaggerated, melodramatic air kiss, complete with a hand flourish. The cheesier, the better! It’s a surefire way to break the tension.
CAROLING CATASTROPHE
If you have musical talents or not, organizing a group caroling outing can be a hilarious way to enjoy the holidays together. The more off-key and spirited, the better! Your ex might be so busy trying to survive your singing that they forget to be awkward.
GINGERBREAD HOUSE SHOWDOWN
Compete with your ex in a gingerbread house decorating contest. Get creative, and don’t forget to argue playfully about whether gumdrops or candy canes make the best shingles. After all, what’s a little holiday-themed rivalry between exes?
SANTA’S HELPER SURPRISE
Make a surprise visit as Santa’s helper to local children’s hospitals or charity events. It’s hard not to bond when you’re helping others and dressing up as holiday characters. You might just discover you make a great team when it comes to spreading joy.
GUESS THE GIFT GAME
Wrap up goofy and amusing gifts, then take turns guessing what’s inside. Not only will you share some laughs, but you’ll also get to appreciate the simple joy of gifting – minus the romantic pressure.
MINGLE WITH “ELVES”
Invite friends to join your holiday gatherings. Having a larger group can dilute the awkwardness and provide distractions in case things take an unexpected turn.
“REINDEER GAME” OLYMPICS
Host a mini-Olympics event in the snow (or your living room). Plan games like snowman building, snowball fights, or even a race to see who can scarf down the most Christmas cookies. The silly competitiveness can take the edge off any lingering discomfort.
THE GREAT ESCAPE
If all else fails and you sense an impending holiday disaster, have an escape plan ready. Agree on a safe word with your ex to signal when it’s time to gracefully bow out and find comfort in your own corners of the holiday universe.