I don’t know about anyone else but I am exhausted, mentally drained, and physically weary. I asked for my goals to be met, I asked for my life to change, and thought it would all happen the way I planned, let me say it didn’t. I don’t have all the answers and am sometimes so confused that I am not sure I understand all the questions.
We are many times so busy solving problems, listening to friends and family in their time of need, and making sure our family is taken care of that we forget our own purpose and lose our position as we strive to achieve too many goals. Let me tell you about a thirty-something-year-old who thought she was ready to take on the world. Ready to leave the big city of Atlanta Georgia and could conquer a small town called Shreveport. Wow, how wrong I was. What I thought would take me 12 months took 10 years. I lost my position, my purpose, and hell my passion all along the way. Even writing my article which is past my deadline has overwhelmed me. Ladies, I am off my position but I know god still knows my purpose.
This lost girl still today questions how people see her, if I did or said the right thing, if she will ever find someone to love her just as she is, and how to make everyone happy while figuring out what makes her happy. I guess you could say I am still working to be whole from the holes left in my life. Many times we confuse the look of someone having it all together as not needing help or always being prepared for whatever comes their way, type A meaning “always having the answer.” Let me be the first to say even the strong struggle and sometimes my “A” simply means to ask because I have no clue…..
When seeking life’s purpose or seeking a purpose-driven life, each day must have a goal. When setting your goal if you are able to understand your why then you can find your how. How to overcome doubting yourself, how to say I need help, how to stumble and fall without feeling like you’ve failed, and continuing to move even when you have no energy left to stand.
As I had to pivot like so many post-covid, my company has changed. I introduced my own skin care line “My Skin My Way” and expanded my boutique “My Style My Way” in the hopes of giving women who may look different based on body shape, skin type, or race more options to feel included, instead of excluded, as I have for so long. Well, I work with other vendors to make these dreams a reality and in doing so sometimes expectations are not met and opportunities are not achieved. When meeting a potential investor and client this is what happens and I saw my dreams quickly turning into nightmares and my goals becoming more and more unreachable. When the client said they did not like the end result, not because the design was not on point or my creativity wasn’t there, but because the final execution was poorly done. I felt all the air leave my body and felt as if I was numb all over.
I knew I had grown when I did not even take time to have a pity party. I took the “L” and told myself it was not a loss but a second chance to let go and move on to the next. My ‘L’ was a reminder that 16 years was a lifetime in business for many but a miracle for me.
As the time for women is now, we cannot afford to loll or pass the day without purpose. Every minute matters. Every action executed impacts the rest of us. Every win is one for all of us. Therefore, identifying your why is critical as it directly or indirectly represents every woman you know today, every woman you are standing on the shoulders of, and every woman who will stand on yours.
Having an objective each day is the expression of your ‘why’. Knowing why you are doing something and owning that why is the foundation for a successful life and a happy sense of self. This is how entrepreneurs create products and lead businesses seemingly out of thin air, this is how activists create mass movements, and how athletes come back from the grips of certain failures and painful injuries and find a way to win. It’s because they know their why. However, now more than ever, it’s important to have a purpose bigger than yourself and not exclusive to just your personal desires and personal ambitions. Thus, the deeper why goes beyond just yourself and a ‘successful” life. Having a deeper why is a sturdy foundation you grab onto when the winds blow strong and when those around you let you fall. That deeper why helps you wake up in the morning and fight another day. It makes a purpose-driven life worth fighting for. It reminds you even when off your position you still have purpose.