Sometimes we think we should have all the answers. Truthfully, we don’t. Oh, how I wish we did. Maybe it’s better that we don’t.
I had the extraordinary privilege of planning my daughter’s wedding—one of the most joyful and challenging experiences of my life. Blending her childhood dreams with her grown-woman vision felt like stepping into a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. And let’s be honest: wedding planning—the logistics, budgeting, and emotional weight—can be unnerving.
So, to every Mother of the Bride or Groom wondering if your child’s day is special enough, let me answer that for you. If you spent time with your child—if you thought about, prayed over, or planned their day—the answer is yes. No matter the mishaps, hiccups, or torrential rainstorm the weatherman failed to forecast, showing up and investing your heart and time into their celebration is enough.
And then—after the bouquet is tossed and life moves forward—what if?
Even in a bridal issue filled with beauty and hope, there are quiet realities we don’t always talk about. Realities that linger long after the dress is hung, the tux returned, and the flowers fade. It struck me while finalizing this issue of Lola, watching my daughter navigate what has become a familiar process of planning, directing, and editing.
What could diminish the beauty of a perfect wedding day? Not the day itself, but the loss that may come later. Telling stories of perfect moments can sometimes unearth painful chapters that follow.
There is a particular ache in watching a marriage end—an even deeper ache in watching your beautiful girl gather pieces of herself from dreams she once believed would last forever- the love, the home, the family. I hate that for her. I hate it for me, too. I want her life to be filled with dreams come true, but some dreams simply unfold differently than we hoped.
So, what do you do? I paused. I prayed. And then I wrote this letter, hoping to give her one less thing to execute while processing old grief. Prayer, I’ve learned, is the real work. Perhaps our prayers for our children—and their prayers for themselves—are what God uses to bring beauty from ashes.
Scripture reminds us that God is the One “to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes” (Isaiah 61:3), and that while we plan our course, the Lord establishes our steps (Proverbs 16:9).
So, sisters, friends, mamas—be encouraged. Pray for your children. Pray with open hands and a trusting heart, and rest in this truth- the Father knows what you and your children need before you ask (Matthew 6:8).
-Your Sister Friend’s Mama, Ellyn