Surviving a change in your holiday traditions-Plan early
Who isn’t annoyed when the craft stores begin to stock shelves with Christmas
decorations before school starts? Nobody! But for some it’s more than annoyance. For
those whose holiday traditions have changed for them – sometimes with warning (as in
divorce or deployment or “the other in-laws”) and sometimes with no warning at all, its
more than annoying. It’s anxiety producing.
Meet Debbie (real name withheld). Her entire life, and all the traditions that went with it,
changed without warning and in the blink of an eye. Her heathy, happy, heroic husband
died suddenly while at work. And when the shock of that began to wane, the
anticipation of celebrating anything became overwhelming. Just seeing ornaments on a
tree at the door in August started the internal dialogue, “Holy Cow, how am I going to
make it through the Holidays this first year without him? Without these kids’ Dad? He
was the one that always made Christmas, Christmas. Everything I have done, I can’t
possibly do that.” It seemed impossible to plan the who, the where, the when without
using “last year” as a reference.
Meet her sisters, Jenn and Beth, who decided not to watch Debbie and her girls suffer
through the holidays. The were determined to be pro-active and help Debbie and her
girls by completely changing the pre-existing Christmas traditions for all three families.
None of them did anything the same as “last year.” But where do they start planning
after the decision was made?
Unless, of course, you plan something entirely different . . . . with no reference to “last
year.”
Enter a trusted friend, a travel professional, to help these 4 adults and 6 cousins chart a
course during the year that changed everything. Of all the great things traveling can do
for your soul, your confidence, your culture, your understanding and your enjoyment,
travel can also be the bridge between what was and what will be.
John Grisham’s novel, Skipping Christmas, was the backbone for this family’s transition
between what was and what would be. No plot spoilers here, but for a variety of good
solid reasons, the fictional family opted to change their holiday traditions. No death in the family, no divorce to divide the family, no fire at the family home, no military
deployment to Germany or Okinawa and no new marriage with new in-laws with whom
to now share holidays. Just a great illustration of how families can navigate through,
and even begin to enjoy, changes in the most sacred of traditions. And if the holidays
are the season for miracles, perhaps just getting through the holidays with the
anticipation of joy instead of heartache is the goal for some families during such tragic
years.
Thanks to Jenn and Beth, just being away from “the past” alleviated the pressure for
Debbie. No obligatory parties to attend. No obligatory smiling for hours on end. No
reminders with every “Dad” ornament out of the storage box and back into the storage
box. No reminders of now always having to do everything alone. It allowed meaningful
discussion about what they missed not being at home, what they didn’t miss at all about
Christmas at home, and confirmed to each other that the most important thing about
their traditions was their being together.
As a matter of fact, after remaining at home the next Christmas, they all looked at each
other and said, “Why in the world are we NOT on a cruise ship in the Caribbean this
year?”
Performing a little miraculous magic – that’s just one of the many things that happen with
travel professionals every day!
