Imagine your first week of your Junior Year of high school in American History class and your teacher calls on you to read out loud. Your last name starts with an “A” so of course she calls on you first. You begin to read the first sentence of the text book,
“Christopher Columbus circumcised the world….”
Wait! What?! Did I just say that out loud?
My face burned with embarrassment as my classmates and my teacher tried not to laugh too hard at my misrepresentation of what Columbus actually did. All of a sudden the room got smaller and I heard a voice say, “You’re pregnant with a boy!”
With all the excitement a new school year brings and being half way through high school I just never imagine anything disrupting this mundane day to day high school life.
My thoughts were racing and I could not focus on anything the rest of the day. “Pregnant? I don’t even have a boyfriend. He was just a summer fling to make my ex jealous and it backfired. There’s no way!”
Every part of my life at that moment felt out of control. I wondered, “why me?” I wasn’t the promiscuous girl that you see in the movies. I loved Jesus and believed in Him. How could this be happening and what was I going to do?
This moment in American History Class, was the scariest moment in my life. Before any pregnancy test could confirm what the voice told me, I knew it was true and that there was a life growing inside me that deserved so much more than this 15 year old girl could offer.
The road of teenage pregnancy is a lonely one when you come from a small town. Whispers and rumors swirl about like a thick fog that weighs you down as you are walking through a season of uncertainty feeling as if your every move is being judged as your belly grows and grows. Your Sweet Sixteen doesn’t feel as sweet when you feel alone and nauseous.
My dad gave me advice that I live by to this day, “You and only you have to answer for the choices you make in life.” I’m not so sure he realized at that time how profound that statement has been in my life. I knew I had a choice to make and he was right, I was the only one who had to answer for it. I was the only one who could answer for my unborn child.
After much prayer, council and sleepless nights, I decided the best gift I could give my child was a loving, committed, Christian family, complete with a mom and a dad under the same roof. My heart desired to raise my children in a home with a mom and dad together since I came from a divorced family. Since I knew I was not marrying his father, the only logical choice was adoption.
Everybody had an opinion on the subject. Some thought I should let an agency choose for me and never look back. I had teachers even ask if they could adopt my baby. Neither of those options seemed like what I wanted. I needed to know he was going to be well taken care of and that if at any time he ever wanted to know me he could reach out to me without a long grueling search trying to find where he came from.
My Aunt was a hair dresser and one of her clients asked her to pray for her sister & brother-in-law who were not able to conceive naturally and they were considering adoption. Immediately my Aunt told her about me. The couple mailed me a letter and a picture of them. As soon as I saw the picture, I knew that I was carrying their child. In the letter she told me their names, Tina Marie & Chad. Tina Marie just happens to be my mother’s name and Marie is my Grandmother’s name. It didn’t take me long to know these people were sent to me from above.
The day “our” son Brandon was born, Tina & Chad were both there. Brandon has been raised to be a kind, handsome, Godly, well-mannered young man. I could not have asked for better parents for him. He has never been without a parent a day in his life. He is now 20 years old and he will tell you that he is blessed to be adopted.
Adoption is not an easy road. It is filled with lots of emotions and uncertainty but, it is worth every tear shed and every prayer prayed. There is no doubt that like all good things, adoption was designed by God as a gift to those who long to have children but may not be able to and to those who cannot raise a child in the circumstances they are in at the time he or she is gifted to their forever families.
Twenty years ago, there were not a lot of resources for single and pregnant women in our community. Today, I am proud to say that I volunteer for two amazing ministries that help women who are pregnant and unmarried right here in the Arklatex.
Heart of Hope – A Sanctuary for Women is a 501(c)3 non-profit maternity home in Keithville, LA for women ages 11-23 who find themselves in an unplanned pregnancy. It is a safe haven for pregnant women to continue their education with a certified teacher on staff. Along with continuing their education, young women also learn parenting and life skills, budgeting classes, and sexual integrity classes, and more. Heart of Hope is a Christ centered environment with a licensed counselor and full time House Parents on staff. Here any young pregnant woman can come to find peace during her pregnancy as she prepares to bring her baby home and parent or if she chooses to; gift her baby in adoption.
Not only have I volunteered at Heart of Hope for the past 5 years, I was also on staff as an event coordinator for a year. My connection to Heart of Hope led me to another ministry called Embrace Grace.
Embrace Grace is also a 501(c)3 Non Profit Ministry created by Amy Ford and Salina Duffy from Gateway Church in Fort Worth, TX . Embrace Grace is a small group study led from the church to show a young single pregnant woman that she is loved and not judged. It is for the church to be a safe place and a place of peace and support during an unintended pregnancy.
I have had the privilege of leading and Embrace Grace group for 3 semesters and each time it is amazing to watch the young women come to the realization that they are not alone. As these beautiful mommas are learning how big God’s love is they are also finding support in a non-judgmental way from of all places, the church. For many years the church has been the last place a young pregnant woman would turn to for fear of judgement. Embrace Grace is the opportunity for the church to prove we are not just Pro Life, we are Pro Love. Loving her through her unplanned pregnancy and celebrating the fact that she chose life is life changing. Anna E. came to one of my Embrace Grace groups in 2015. She was pregnant with her 2nd unplanned baby and was trying to sort her life out in what seemed to be a roller coaster. Anna wrote an article for the Heart of Hope Newsletter shortly after her semester was over. Here is what she had to say about EG:
“God has a plan for my life far beyond what I can dream or imagine. Embrace Grace has given me peace in my heart and a love and respect for myself that no one will take away.”
I was so blessed to be a part of Anna’s story and I am very proud of the momma she has become to her 2 precious babies. I am grateful for the journey God has placed me on. It hasn’t always been easy but I know that without my faith in God, my situation would have been hopeless. It is because of God’s love and grace that I am able to share my story in hopes that someone who may be walking the same road of being a single and pregnant woman will know she is not alone. He will never leave you nor forsake you.
Since Brandon was born in the spring of 1996, I went on to beat the statistics and graduated with my high school class without delay. I began college in the fall of 1997 and met my now husband of almost 17 years, Clay. We have 2 daughters of our own Carlee & Avery. Being a wife and a mother has taught me to respect my decision to gift Brandon even more.
If you or someone you know is single and pregnant and would like to know more about Embrace Grace or Heart of Hope, please visit their websites
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- Brandi & Brandon
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- Brandi & Clay
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- Brandon, Carlee & Avery
